I’ve struggled for a long time at finding my story valid enough to share. It was hard for me to figure out what “my story” was. What is it that I went through that is significant to mention in the story of who I became who I am? It’s a question I asked myself over and over and over again.
How can I share MY little itty bitty insignificant story in the same space with the girl who’s story includes rape, and the boy who had to be the man of his household at a young age, and the other were group up in a poorer neighborhood than me? How can I pretend that my story is just as valid as there’s? What can I add to make it valid? Nothing….I could think of nothing. So I played down my itty bitty insignificant story, made it more about my family, more about my career path. I played it down so much that it could have been anybody’s story. What else was I supposed to do?
You ever felt like you needed to apologize for not going through the same caliber as struggles? Ever felt like apologizing for growing up with more money? For not being sexually abused by family? For not losing close family members at young ages? For not having the pressures of being an older sibling? Ever felt like you should just be silent in a room of people who can relate to that “level” of struggles?
Maybe not. Maybe those were your struggles when you were younger. But they weren’t mine. I didn’t have those struggles. I had little itty bitty insignificant struggles. Only they weren’t so itty bitty to me. They weren’t insignificant to me. I was the one who had to live through them, not you. I was the one who had to learn and grow from them. So why hold back my story?
I realized that that struggles that were assigned to my life, were just the right level of struggle, the right level of agitation for me to get the lesson. Just the right level of heartbreak, just the right level of betrayal, just the right level of loneliness, just the right socioeconomic status…..just the right level for me to understand. For me to get it. Just enough struggle for me to internalize, analyze, and evaluate. Just enough struggle for me understand how to help a friend (or a stranger) get out of their struggle.
So my story isn’t so itty bitty; and it isn’t so insignificant after all. My story is just enough. Just the right amount of struggle for me to fulfill my purpose. Just enough struggle for this blog to be effective; just enough struggle for my life to be effective.
No matter how tragic your story is, no matter how hard your story is to deal with, no matter how itty bitty and insignificant your story may seem…I’m telling you that your story is 100%. Your story is 100% worth being shared. Make sure that it is always 100% your story, no additives or perspectives, no added sugar, salt or water. You HAVE to tell your story. It’s not itty bitty and it’s not insignificant. That’s the bottom line.