**NO shade thrown in the making of this post. However, if the shoe fits…………

Dear Ladies,

I write this post in hopes that it challenges you to examine the relationships that you have established or are exploring. Before I dive into my discussion, let’s look at some definitions.

1- Happy (adj.): notably fitting, effective, or well adapted; enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment

2- Comfortable (adj): not causing any physically unpleasant feelings; causing no worries, difficulty, or uncertainty

In other words, if you’re participating in relationship that is based on convenience and thrives off of the absence of “significant” agitation, then you are definitely in a comfortable place. You can only be truly happy in relationships built on good intentions and genuine concern for the well-being of each other . When we are happy in a relationship or situation, we are excited and motivated to do more and and become better. We want to make sure that person is proud of what they see in us. It’s natural to want to make achievements and participate in activities together, but when we settle for comfort that desire diminishes. Whatever desire lingers simply becomes ideals, not actions. It’s kind of like binge watching Netflix on your couch with pizza and a comfy blanket. You melt in this comfort and between episodes, you think to yourself “I should really get up, do that homework, cook dinner, call my mom or friend, take a shower”, but do you really get up and accomplish something? orrrrrr do you stay right on that couch where it has become comfortable to be unproductive? Why would you get up and leave this place of comfort for an activity that isn’t comfortable? That’s the thing though, staying in a comfort zone will always eat away at your potential. It is never preferable to leave that comfort to be uncomfortable, but it is in that uncomfortable place that we stretch, grow, learn, and become better than we ever have been.

“Okay so how do I know if I’m comfortable?”

We’ll  I’m glad you asked….Ladies, if a relationship is not helping you to grow as a person, and visa versa, then what is its purpose? Anybody can text you “good morning beautiful”and keep you warm at night, but what about the hours in between. Now, not only can we become comfortable in our dating life, but we can be comfortable in our work life. We can even be comfortable in our faith. So, ask your self: “Am I happy with this person? with this job? with my major? in my faith? …or am I just comfortable?”

Moral of the Story: Every relationship that you enter, every person that you meet, and every action you take either stimulates growth, progress, and happiness or fosters an atmosphere that accepts a state of stagnation and a lack of success. It’s your job to choose the people, actions, and environments that stimulate growth, not comfort.