Dear Ladies,

I finally made a conscious decision to stop fighting for seasonal people and seasonal relationships. And in the moment that I made that decision, I was free! I became free to become myself. I became free to make leaps toward my goals, and I became free to celebrate the blessings in my life, unapologetically.

Now, I was always aware of the toxicity in prolonging seasonal relationships, but I was always afraid of change and always afraid to be alone. It took maturity, a strong sense of peace and a burning desire to grow in every area of my life. So, I decided to stop fighting for people who weren’t fighting for me. I decided to stop putting too much value to relationships where too little value was attributed to me.


As young ladies, we have to accept the fact that the company that we keep has a big influence on our ability to flourish. I’m not encouraging you to cut everyone off, but it IS healthy to re-evaluate your friendships from time to time. Sometimes there are people in our lives who are toxic and we need to stay far away from those people. Other times, there are people in our lives who aren’t necessarily toxic. However, they may not be able to motivate you in the current season of your life; they may not be able to understand and support your vision. Ladies, as you grow into the woman that you are meant to be and as the purpose for your life becomes more and more clear, the nature of your relationships may have to shift. Your perspective, your viewpoint, your mindset WILL have to shift. But as long as the changes in your life, and the changes in your relationships are freeing you to make necessary progress (as it relates to your life goals and to becoming the best version of yourself) then that CHANGE is GOOD!


So, after my “come to Jesus” moment, I walked away with this: I know that I give my best to every relationship that I value and I do my best to always do right by those people. Sometimes I mess up and all of my good intentions are overlooked. What I found is that one of the most beautiful parts of my relationship with God, is that HE overlooks the moments when I consciously do him wrong and he continues to fight me. As I grow in my ability to overlook mistakes and to forgive based on the heart of a person and their pattern of intention; I can rightfully require the same efforts from my friends. Making this decisions has freed me to identify which friendships are meant for this season and which friendships will not be profitable for me in this season in my life.

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