Hello Ladies !
I want to dedicate this post to every lady who is single …or about to be single. Don’t read this for your single friend, sister, or cousin, read this for yourself (and then recommend it…please 🙂 It is so easy for us to ignore the speck in our eyes when we believe that someone else has 50 specks in their eyes. Do you ever stop to think that maybe the “one” speck in YOUR eye is affecting YOUR vision, so that now everyone else has more specks than they do in reality? Okay, let me say it this way: When you ignore your flaws/problems/mistakes, you find more flaws/problems/mistakes in everyone else, because you haven’t dealt with your issue first. When broken people try to fix other broken people, nothing can get fixed. So as you read this post, I urge you to examine yourself, your heart, and your life first. Then you can tell your friend, sister, or cousin about it from a more genuine place.
Whether you are in middle school, high school, college, or are a working woman (shout out to all the ladies with degrees and careers), we all have seen troubling patterns in a friend, family member, classmate, or coworker when it comes to their relationships. We’ve witnessed the young lady who keeps picking the wrong guys, the young lady who jumps from one relationship to the next, the young lady who always has drama with her ex, the young lady whose relationship status (on facebook or in reality) is changing every 4 days. One day she is single, the next she is “talking”, then dating, then “its complicated”, then single, dating, engaged, single, married, divorced, “talking”, single, pregnant, and on and on. No matter who came to your mind as you read that (even if it was yourself), I know that one thing is true about that person…they are NOT satisfied!
The lack of satisfaction with oneself easily leads to bad decisions about relationships, friendships, and appearance among other choices. These are the decisions that affect your daily life and anyone around you will notice the changes, especially if they become patterns. Part of our human nature is to seek out ways to fill any void that we have in our lives or in our hearts. However, we tend to seek and find the wrong things that only make it worse. We find alcohol, drugs, boys, sex, money, gangs, the wrong friends, and other unprofitable behaviors and relationships that never quite satisfy the void that we are experiencing.
Having a relationship status of “single” seems to have such a negative connotation these days. Often those who are single are involving themselves in sexual activities with multiple people, dating anything that moves, using their attire to get attention, and just “showing out” overall. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that nobody wants you, or that you have to feel lonely, or that you aren’t loved, or that you’re not attractive, or that you’re not worth someone’s time, effort and affection. Being single is honestly a blessing in a way. I mean, yeah, as females, we want our knight in shining armor, our prince charming, our Mr. Wonderful to come like 5 minutes ago…but have you ever thought that the only reason he hasn’t come is because you’re not really ready for him. I know we like to think ourselves as priceless precious jewels, but maybe we’re more like beautiful blossoming flowers. I mean, you are valuable, yes….but maybe saying that you still have growing to do is a little more accurate. None of us are perfect, and growth and change will always be wonderful aspects of our lives. Sooooo…I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you tried to appreciate your single-ness, you’d be surprised how wonderful it can be.
To keep it 100 with ya’ll…In the past, i’ve bounced from dating to talking, to dating, to talking, to dating, to single, to talking, to dating, to single. I can tell you that I’ve never been more satisfied with myself than I have become during this period that I’m in by myself. It definitely takes adjusting at first, learning not to expect a text message when you get out of class or get off of work, or a phone call before you go to sleep or a good morning text message with emojis. Then you learn that its actually kind of liberating. I’ve been single for almost a year now and i’m pretty sure this is the longest that i’ve ever been single, since I started “dating” my freshman year of high school. I’m also pretty sure that this is the closest i’ve ever been to truly being fulfilled. I mean I definitely have my moments, but overall i’ve learned to cherish this season in my life. I have the time to really allow God to mold me into the person that he wants me to be. I am learning to accept and love myself inside and out, flaws and all. I have the ability to reflect on myself, my life, the people around me, and the world that I live in and turn that reflection into something positive. After years of having a unsatisfying dating life, I am single and satisfied.
I hope that you use the single season of your life to finally become satisfied. As a young lady who is single and satisfied, you will set yourself up for a fulfilling life, and a fulfilling dating life where you will find yourself a man who is also single and satisfied (and not a project), which will lead to a fulfilling marriage, family and life. Don’t forget that it starts with you! So be ye #singleandsatisfied